morningcloud

seriously…what do girls want from their love of their love or just simply from their bf. huh!? duno how to answer right…all sure say all the positive stuff right….romantic la…humorous la…responsible la….really how many such guys are available nowadays. most of them were all taken, even those not on par also taken just because of their looks. it strike on me out of a sudden…what i want? what i really want? stability? or a happy-go-lucky guy? supportive kind or those that depend on me kind? rich or poor? guide me or scold me kind? caring or show temper kind??? i duno what i want. i feel helpless, frustrated and sad at the same time when all those things bombarded my head. it accumulates u know….one day i can accept…then another i may explode on super petty stuff. i wish God can show me the way and lead me to a brighter path…i’m afraid i’m wasting each other’s time. is he the one? do u love me? u always say u do? but ur actions doesn’t show that u care of me…doesn’t show that u wanna protect me…doesn’t show that u care of my safety…. i’m plain tired…period.

i went to bed,lay down a while but still cant sleep. body feel tired, mentally saturated. but still cant sleep. wondering what is wrong with me. suddenly feel very happy, the next second angry… have been reading a lot lately. not books nor novels but blogs. a lot a lot…….close frens ones and strangers too…. makes me think that everyone has their own thoughts………so much in their little brain.some ppl feel so depressed,they expressed it tru their blog. tot of getting one just to released my anger whenever i want to…..wont hurt ppl’s feeling…….wont worry to feel sorry also =)  life is complicated, if not it will be boring right….i also duno what i wanna write……just wanna do something. i cant read now, dun feel like doing anything. restless… sometimes i wonder, if i didnt do this what will i be doing? or if i die lastime,….would i b able to watch everyone up above and protect all my love ones =) nevertheless, i feel blessed to have a second chance in life and cherish everyday that i’m healthy and still be able to carve a smile in ppl’s heart..